What is up with me i feel i have no need to live ?

Saint johns wort is a very good alternative to some of the anti depressants on the shelf, give it go it sounds ilike you have nothing to lose.Idont know too much about eating disorders, but i feel you may be addicted to your thinking, addicted to the negative power it gives your self and is sending you out of balance quite badly by the sounds of it. Drugs are not always the answer to problems and some times its gonna take work from you, by being more responsible for what you are thinking, maybe some positive psychology wpuld help ,you can ask your doctor to see pscychologist. It may also take a while to find the right one for you.Just dont give up yet and put some faith in knowing you will find the answers one day soon.